"Whether you live across the country or across town, if you're not the one primarily responsible for the care of someone with Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia, it's easy to feel helpless or be unsure how to help"
is how Caring.com's article entitled "How to Provide Alzheimer's Support From a Distance (10 ideas on caring for someone with dementia — when you're not the primary caregiver) begins. The article is written by Paula Spencer Scott, Caring.com’s senior editor.
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, sometimes the best advice I can give a client is non-legal advice. And the best non-legal advice I receive is from my clients and their personal experiences.
Here are the few items from the aforementioned article that I have found to be particularly helpful to my clients and their families when caring for an Alzheimer's or dementia patient (and the caregivers who love them):
1. Offer emotional support to the person's primary caregiver. Caregiver stress is a constant threat. Especially when the caregiver is the patient's spouse or another family member, check in regularly to see how he's feeling and to ask how you can help. A caregiver with reduced stress, is a happier caregiver, and is better able to provide care.
2. Connect with the patient. While it is very difficult to watch a loved one suffer from Alzheimer's disease, remember that your telephone calls or personal visits make your loved one happy in the moment and eases stress, which is important to her overall well-being (and the well-being of their caregiver).
If you do not live near by, write letters and send cards, even if these have never been your preferred modes of communication. Your loved one will likely find it easier to follow what you're talking about if she can review something on paper at her leisure.
Another good way to say hello is to send photos with labels on the back that identify everyone in the picture. In addition to pictures of family members, send images of your home, your new dog, a vacation, and other experiences that tell about your life and your family. This allows your loved one to feel connected to you.
3. Offer Help To The Primary Caregiver
Offer to prepare a meal, run an errand or tackle a cleaning chore. Observing and participating in your loved one's care will also help you identify other areas where you may be able to help, like replacing a small appliance that's not working properly. This alleviates the caregiver’s stress (which is good for the caregiver and your loved one) and allows them to take better care of your loved one.
Plan your visit with the purpose of giving the primary caregiver some respite, if you can. Day-to-day caregiving can be time-consuming and exhausting. Caregivers need an occasional break. If you're uncomfortable doing this, start with short outings or day trips so you can learn the ropes, and work up to weekends or longer stints.
Don't forget to build in leisure time for you to spend time with your loved one. Join your loved one in relaxing activities such as looking through photo albums or participating in activities that she enjoys. Stick as much to her regular routine as possible, however, so as not to agitate or confuse her. Spending time with your loved one, allows the caregiver to relax, get a massage, get their hair cut or run their own errands.
4. Join a local Alzheimer's Support Group. You will realize that you are not alone! While the disease affects everyone differently, commonalities exist, and you can learn helpful coping strategies and ways to provide support. Some people find it helpful to learn from the experiences of others at a local Alzheimer's support group, even though they themselves live at a distance from the patient. Hearing from caregivers, family members, and friends caring for someone with Alzheimer's can give you new perspectives on your loved one's situation and what the caregiver is experiencing.
Please go to my website for legal solutions relating to caring for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease.
Click here for the link to the entire article located at www.caring.com