From U.S. News and World Report – Money (May 25, 2011) “Living Well Should Include Planning for Death”
“… you need to talk about this, and not whisper about it. It isn't going to go away, and we're all going to die someday.”
This article offers a strong case for the need to plan for one’s death for reasons that are legal, economic, and most importantly, emotional. The article uses the example of Margie Jenkins, a psychotherapist turned author and professional speaker on end-of-life planning. Jenkins offers a list of legal and economic measures to put in place, as well as less obvious ideas.
“We plan for weddings, we plan for the birth of a baby, we plan for vacations, we plan for everything. We think you should plan for the end of your life, too. There are just things that we think that you should think about doing, and many of them you can do now. We think people should put them into a file, give it a name, and tell their family what they're doing. Communication is so important, and you need to talk about this, and not whisper about it. It isn't going to go away, and we're all going to die someday.”
The author states (and I agree) that most people are willing to discuss their "estate planning" as it relates to tangible and inanimate documents/objects such as:
(1) Where to find copies of key estate planning documents (name, address and telephone number of their estate planning attorney, advanced directives; advanced health care directive, revocable living trust, wills and deeds)
(2) Instructions about who to contact and steps to take: location of bank accounts; benefits; birth certificate; bonds/securities; brokerage accounts; burial information; title to cars/vehicles; contracts; divorce papers; financial statements; funeral/cemetery information; insurance policies; inventory of belongings; loans; long term care information; marriage license; medical crisis information; military papers; pensions; people to notify; safe deposit box(s); and Social Security / Medicare information.
(3) Wishes about what to do with your various possessions: For example, give my 1966 VW Bug to my oldest son, and give my grandmother's wedding ring to my daughter.
To be honest, most of us can relate to these issues and know how to handle them when "the time arrives."
However, while you have your estate planning affairs in order, it does not mean that your life ends.
There is still a lot of living to do and for this reason, I really like the author's "other" issues that should be addressed and how you should participate. Her article goes on to discuss:
1) Bodacious living ideas. Talk about how you want to live the rest of your life. "We try to have fun with this subject . . . I think we should plan for life's ending like we plan for life's beginning, and then live bodaciously for as long as you can."
2) Cherished possessions. What are they and what do you want done with them? Ask your family and friends if they want something as a memento of you or your relationship.
3) Going-away-party reception. "A lot of people say to me, 'What I think I want is a big party when I die.' Other people have talked about making a video before they die. This should be a celebration of life. In fact, I wish we could have that party for ourselves before we die!"
4) Instant action folder. Create an emergency folder that contains all the information someone would need to quickly react to your death or to a serious health event.
5) My support circle. Who's in it, what's their contact information, and what are your wishes for communicating with them if you are seriously ill and after you die?
6) Stages of grief. "It's important that we know that the stages of grief are a normal process, or as normal as anything can be. We have to reach for a new normalcy here because nothing is normal after a death."
7) "10 Best Things" list. The things that your children/friends/family said they wanted from you.
8) Things I want to do before I die. Make a "bucket" list of things you want to do.
For more information articles on elder law and estate planning, please go to my website by clicking here Torrance CA Estate Planning