The ugly truth is money can’t buy love. But
it can be used to try to hurt the people you say you love.
When planning your estate, you
may want to assess the “fairness” of the inheritance you plan to leave behind
and any potential hurt feelings along the way. You see, sometimes your plans
could convey a message of intentional disparity – which can be more obvious to
your heirs than you’d think. While it is your estate, it may be helpful to
communicate your wishes and rationale now
to avoid misunderstandings (or worse) later on.
The Washington Post recently explored this subject in an article
titled “Dividing up money can cause divisions in
families.” The article tracks
the case of a certain individual who can’t help feeling resentment over the estate
plan his parents have created. He believes the basis for the estate plan is his
chosen “lifestyle.”
He is gay and his married sister
is not. He has no children and she does. The parents of these adult children
have chosen to leave an inheritance “directly” to their grandchildren, instead
of “through” their daughter. The grandchildren are set to each inherit
one-sixth of the estate, with the children splitting the remaining two-thirds.
The author of the article
concludes thusly regarding the inheritance planning of these parents: “And yet,
this is their prerogative. It’s their money.”
What about your own family and
heirs – will they understand? What can you do to make yourself understood? Then
again, if instead you are the one inheriting, have you thought it through from
everyone’s perspective?
Properly thinking through your
estate planning objectives and then committing it to proper legal instruments
can be an arduous task. That is why too few otherwise responsible adults
actually follow through on their intentions. One of the most common estate
plans is one that lies unsigned in a desk drawer.
When all is said and done, it is
your estate and you may distribute it as you wish. Period. Nevertheless,
long-term family harmony often hinges on communicating your wishes while you
are alive and able to explain them. Surprise is only a good thing when it comes
to birthdays and military maneuvers.
For more information and articles on
estate planning and elder law topics, please visit our website
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Reference: The Washington
Post (March 29, 2013) “Dividing up money can cause divisions in
families”